Happy Birthday to My Angels

Dear Caiden and Kaylie,

A year ago today I held you in my arms. We had so little time to spend with you. So many hopes and dreams were packed into those few fleeting hours. So many "I love yous" were left unsaid.

This last year has been a struggle. For the first six months we said that we would give anything to have you back in our arms. But then we conceived Jordyn. How could we say that we would give up this new precious life to have you back? We had to work through those feelings and realize that we still love you with all our hearts, even while we love this growing new life.

As part of our grieving process, we looked for an outlet. We found that in the March of Dimes. We were so pleased that in the first year we were able to raise over $1,800 with only about 3 weeks of fundraising. The walk, which took place less than a month after your birth, was very emotional, but a great culmination to a crazy month.

After the walk, I started making hats and blankets to donate back to the hospital to give other families the comfort that we had received from the hats and blankets we received for you. This lead to the formation of An Angel's Love. We made our first donation back to the hospital in September. We are making another donation today in your memory.

Since last year's March for Babies, Daddy and I have continued our involvement in the March of Dimes. We gave a speech at the Nurse of the Year Awards Gala, where we talked about the wonderful nurses who cared for us during our stay in the hospital. I was lucky enough to get to go back to the hospital and ask them to be the presenting sponsor for this year's walk. They accepted, which has made this year's walk so much more successful already.

Daddy has been planning a softball tournament in your names. We have put a lot of work into it and it is all finally starting to pay off. He has been spreading the word to anyone and everyone, making sure that your lives mean something and that we can make a difference for others in your names. Now, a month before this year's walk, we have already far surpassed last year's fundraising, and we are still going strong.

All that we have done over the past year has been made possible because of you two. We wish for all the world that we could have you with us. But since that is not possible, we are grateful for what you have given us: a cause to pour all of our passion into.

We will continue to carry you in our hearts everywhere we go. We will often wonder what your lives would have been like: when would you have said your first word or taken your first step? would you have been an athlete? where would you have gone to college? who would you have married? what career would you have chosen? But through all these milestones, we will always remember what you have given us. I only hope that we can give back as much as we have received.

On this very special day, Happy Birthday to my twin angels. <3<3

Love,

Mommy